The renaissance of absinthe has produced some wonderful absinthes ... and a lot of misinformation. Much of the misinformation has revolved around the story of thujone, allegedly responsible for the downfall of the French Empire, the demise of the Swiss navy, and a wide range of other symptoms, including drug-style hallucinations etc. We love the alternative, satirical view of absinthe on Uncyclopedia: this is to be taken with a large pinch of salt!

Side Effects

Absinthe is a hallucinogenic alchohol. An astonishing array of side effects have been attributed to the consumption of absinthe, most of which are true, but you'll never remember them. Most commonly the absinthe causes fantasies about Green Fairies, passing out, and forgetting about having sex with your sister's goat. Poetry, sodomy, incest, and big shirts with frilly collars are also common side effects of absinthe, especially when you've been drinking with Lord Byron and Percy Bysshe Shelley.

Assuming you don't believe that  ..... is a good start. Read on ...

 

Thujone

Thujone is a chemical found in a number of plants, including Grande Wormwood, (Artemisia absinthium) and sage.

Absinthes, or more likely absinths (as some products of Central and Eastern Europe are known), that claim "more thujone," "the maximum amount of thujone," "more thujone than permitted in USA, Europe," etc are likely to be preying on the ignorance of consumers. Does any champagne claim "more bubbles" than all the others?

Recent, and repeated studies have shown that thujone is naturally present in a distilled absinthe, and was present in absinthes produced in the 19th century - but only in very small quantities. In quantities that do not produce hallucinations and never did. The only hallucinations are in the minds of those trying to hype "high thujone absinthe."

In the interests of science, we have tried many normal absinthes and some absurdly high thujone "absinthes." No hallucinations, nothing even close.

So if you think you are interested to try La Clandestine because you have heard that the old Swiss La Bleue style of absinthe is packed with thujone, then think again.

Yes, La Clandestine is made with the finest Grande Wormwood that grows naturally in the fields around the distillery.

Yes, La Clandestine contains a legal level of thujone, whether you are drinking it in USA, Europe or Asia Pacific.

How much thujone? La Clandestine's thujone content will differ from batch to batch, since it is a 100% natural product.

1 part per million, 5 parts, 9.9 parts? It doesn't matter .. it's irrelevant.

If someone can only enjoy a champagne because it has more bubbles, then that's their choice.

If someone can only enjoy an absinthe because it has more thujone, then that's their choice. Unfortunately they will be missing out on one of the most wonderfully complex drinks known to man ...

Wormwood

Some pictures of the wormwood fields surrounding the small village of Couvet where absinthe was born in the 1790's.

Absinthe Effects

• "It helps you appreciate the fine things in life."
• "You may never want to have water on its own again."